Dear Baby Jones,
You are now six days overdue and are still showing no sign of coming out -humph - everyone is getting impatient - especially your Grannies,
Yesterday Miss Penny - your sister cat - thought she'd bring you a present to try and encourage you to appear. It was a live pigeon and I wasn't impressed. It had a broken wing so we think it must have flown into something first, because, bless her, she lacks the wileyness required to catch a pigeon. It was 5.45am and she bought it to me while I was lying on the sofa trying to coax myself back to sleep.
I skrieked for Daddy, but he was fast asleep so I had to haul myself up, climb over both sofas (I didn't want to walk on the floor in case the bird came at me - I don't like birds) and run up the stairs. If you've ever seen a nine months pregnant person try to run upstairs and climb over sofas you'll know that it was not pretty.
Daddy picked up the bird and put it outside and we then wrestled with Penny for a good hour to stop her going out and finishing it off. She's so naughty. She spent the rest of the day in disgrace.
Despite all of this excitement you still didn't appear. So we went to Homebase and bought paint for the shed. Then we tried to tempt you out with a MacDonald's, that didn't work either. So we came home and painted the shed cream - which looks lovely.
Today I have been to see the midwife and she is coming to the house tomorrow to perform a sweep in an attempt to kick start labour. Apparently it works in around 50 per cent of cases - so fingers crossed. If that fails then you'll be induced at the weekend - so by early next week at the very latest you should be here - hurrah. Granny Sue is very pleased about this because it means she can still go on holiday to Chicago - not that I think she should stay behind even if you do come much later.