The second stag

This weekend is Mr Jones' second stag do. Before you ask, I don't know why he's insisting on having two and yes I'm sure he is trying to turn me into a nervous wreck. I am more terrified about this one than I was about Prague for two simple reasons:
One - the wedding is just three weeks away and
Two - they are going out in Peterborough, which is infinitely more dangerous that the wilds of Eastern Europe.

There are 16 of them going apparently - including some people who think that stripping stags naked and tying them to lampposts is in someway amusing - I can assure them all that it is not. So at this point I would like to take this opportunity to remind those involved of the few things:
One - the wedding is just three weeks away
Two - I have no sense of humour about the wedding and anyone who does ANYTHING that might threaten the day will be dealt with in the most unflinchingly vicious way.
Three - Damage to the groom, best man or any of the ushers will not be tolerated
Four - Anyone who causes damage to any of the above will be immediately struck off the guest list and I don't care who it upsets or offends.
Five - I have charged three people with Mr Jones' protection - they are all well trained in combat so those of you planning anything be warned, you will be knocked out, put in a taxi and sent back from whence you came if you try anything.

Of course I do hope you all have a jolly lovely time.

xoxo