Maid of honour update

Mr Jones quite often accuses me of being hysterical. To give him his due I am in possession of an imagination that is quick to jump into a warp-speedesque overdrive and whisk me from perfectly normal circumstance to position of great horror within seconds. I have a bottom lip that can wobble on command should the need arise and I am firmly of the belief that a little bit of exaggeration for dramatic effect will do no one any harm (as long as you don't change the context) - I am a journo after all.

However there are times when my hysteria is quite justifiable - my sister going traveling being a case in point. She and Gemma have been in Mexico for two days and they have already had to escape from their youth hostel over a gate of monstrous proportions after having been locked in (they have since moved hostels) and Gemma has fainted and had some kind of fit! The email telling us all this ended thus: "We're off to Holbox Island today to swim with whale sharks". All I can currently hear is the soundtrack from jaws and I'm preoccupied with thoughts of whether Coast make crutches to match their bridesmaid dresses?