This is why I love him

Last night we went out for a meal for Mr Jones' birthday. I wore earrings - a rare(ish) occurrence. Mr Jones said that I look very pretty. When I smiled and congratulated him on paying me a compliment without having to be prompted he said: "I normally only tell you when you look a mess because the rest of the time you look beautiful."

The second stag

This weekend is Mr Jones' second stag do. Before you ask, I don't know why he's insisting on having two and yes I'm sure he is trying to turn me into a nervous wreck. I am more terrified about this one than I was about Prague for two simple reasons:
One - the wedding is just three weeks away and
Two - they are going out in Peterborough, which is infinitely more dangerous that the wilds of Eastern Europe.

There are 16 of them going apparently - including some people who think that stripping stags naked and tying them to lampposts is in someway amusing - I can assure them all that it is not. So at this point I would like to take this opportunity to remind those involved of the few things:
One - the wedding is just three weeks away
Two - I have no sense of humour about the wedding and anyone who does ANYTHING that might threaten the day will be dealt with in the most unflinchingly vicious way.
Three - Damage to the groom, best man or any of the ushers will not be tolerated
Four - Anyone who causes damage to any of the above will be immediately struck off the guest list and I don't care who it upsets or offends.
Five - I have charged three people with Mr Jones' protection - they are all well trained in combat so those of you planning anything be warned, you will be knocked out, put in a taxi and sent back from whence you came if you try anything.

Of course I do hope you all have a jolly lovely time.

xoxo

Times they are a-changing

I do love a good tale of the olden days, especially if they come complete with pictures - and this weekend Mr Jones and I were treated to the story of my Nannie and Grandad's wedding.

They got married 55 years ago at the Shire Hall in Cambridge. Grandad wore a double breasted suit and Nannie was dressed in a beautiful grey skirt suit with a velvet collar with a spray of roses on her lepel. After the ceremony they had lunch at Grandad's family home and tea and at Nannie's. No fancy reception for them.

They didn't have a house when they were first married. Instead the rented "rooms" from a woman in Cambridge. They shared her kitchen and loo, but there was no bathroom so they paid a woman down the street to use hers! Mr Jones and I are rather more lucky.

My Grandad is a little bit poorly at the moment, but we're hoping that he'll be well enough to make the wedding and see Mr Jones and I start what I hope will be at least 55 years of a happy marriage.

Ahem

When I was six I was a bridesmaid for my mum's friend Denise. They got married on my sixth birthday. I got a wind up watch with a red leather strap that I displayed with pride in every single one of their wedding photos. My Sindy got a horse and carriage. I wore a white dress from M&S, white t-bar sandals, white ankle socks and had silk lilies of the valley clipped in my hair. My sister and I looked like twins.

Shortly before the wedding I developed a cough - a tickly, dry and occasionally chesty cough. Mum thought I was getting a cold or a chest infection so she dosed me up with Benylin. It went away on the morning of the wedding. Ever since then, whenever I've done anything that makes me anxious or excited - be it interviews. exams, public speaking or even saying "I love you" for the first time, I've developed the same rather irritating need to clear my throat.

Today the cough has appeared - exactly one month before my wedding a whole 23 years later. I expect to be coughing and a-hemming for the next four weeks. I do apologise if I gets on your nerves, but do remember it's just because I'm excited. (Either that or I'm getting swine flu!)

It gets worse

Last night the mother and father of the bride were woken by a phone call from Mexico. The hapless pair were at the police station having had their cameras stolen from their rucksacks while they were sat on a bus with their feet resting on said luggage. Some thief! I do wonder what will happen next?

In other news Mr Jones seems to have realised that we are in fact getting married and has been very helpful of late. He's rather crafty when given instruction - in fact I'm wondering if he hasn't been flicking through my Martha Stewart's!

Maid of honour update

Mr Jones quite often accuses me of being hysterical. To give him his due I am in possession of an imagination that is quick to jump into a warp-speedesque overdrive and whisk me from perfectly normal circumstance to position of great horror within seconds. I have a bottom lip that can wobble on command should the need arise and I am firmly of the belief that a little bit of exaggeration for dramatic effect will do no one any harm (as long as you don't change the context) - I am a journo after all.

However there are times when my hysteria is quite justifiable - my sister going traveling being a case in point. She and Gemma have been in Mexico for two days and they have already had to escape from their youth hostel over a gate of monstrous proportions after having been locked in (they have since moved hostels) and Gemma has fainted and had some kind of fit! The email telling us all this ended thus: "We're off to Holbox Island today to swim with whale sharks". All I can currently hear is the soundtrack from jaws and I'm preoccupied with thoughts of whether Coast make crutches to match their bridesmaid dresses?

The Maid of Honour Does Mexico

Have I told you that my dearest sister has chosen to depart for Mexico and will not return until the Sunday before the wedding? "Lucky girl, a marvellous opportunity, good on her" you may be thinking - however you don't know my sister, nor her friend Gemma, with whom she is travelling. If you did you might be able to understand why I shall spend the next month feeling slightly sick with terror.

You see whenever this hapless pair going travelling together they take their exploration of the local culture to extremes and invariably it involves a trip to one hospital or other. They have been searched at airports, skinned their legs, picked up infection after infection, endured horrific food poisoning and generally end up in a complete state where ever they go (usually due to vast quantities of gin!)

They have arrived in "safely" in Mexico - less one stuffed monkey, a travel pillow and all food eaten in the last 24hrs. I packed her off with a first aid kit containing every remedy I could think of and gave her a warning that any damage inflicted on her person must reside within the bounds of her bridesmaid dress. There was discussion of a permanent pen line to marks the limits but we decided against it.

I do hope she has a marvellous time, but I hope more that she takes care and comes back safe and sound - and preferably not too brown.