Feeling fat

Today I feel humongous - in fact I am slightly surprised that my arms extend far enough in front of me for me to actually reach the keyboard so that I can type this. All of a sudden I feel heavy and big. There I was feeling all smug, coping with the mild leftover vomiting, not feeling breathless or swollen or too achy and then bam Baby J decides that I've had it too easy for too long (at least a week) and here I am feeling fat and grumpy.

At times it feels like the little monster is trying to wring out my insides. It keeps poking its bum up under my belly button and kicking the desk with its little feet. My stomach keeps doing marvellous displays of acrobatics and I'm struggling to heft myself out of chairs. I move like an arthritic old woman - and I've still got 8 weeks to go.

Last night I was treated to niggling period pains and twingy back ache that got steadily worse. Mr Jones googled it and found various causes from stretching ligaments to the early stages of labour. I took two paracetamol and went to bed. It was still there this morning. I had a bath and shaved my legs - just in case - if I could reach them I probably would have painted my toenails too. I put on a wash of baby things in lieu of an early arrival - then on the way to work it occured to me that if Baby J does put in an appearance all the clothes currently residing in the washing machine will be far too big anyway - so that was a waste of precious energy at 6.40am this morning.

I emailed my mother and she is now in panic mode and feverishly planning to start knitting tiny baby clothes. She told me to quit work immediately and spend the next 8 weeks lying down. Mr Jones went doggedly off to Stoke this morning until Friday promising me that he'll keep his phone with him at all times. I sent him a text earlier - he still hasn't replied.

In a fit of hypochondria I have of course googled it all myself and I have decided that the pains are probably down to a baby growth spurt - or constipation! So I am preparing myself for another 8 weeks or so of feeling humongous and I'm upping my intake of fibre.